Today is Bionicle Day!

… Okay well actually it was Bionicle Day yesterday for me because time zones but everyone else is celebrating it today so still counts. As you can probably tell from this journal I admit I rushed to put together because I got inspired to, I don’t actually have anything special planned for today. I mean I COULD just get out my old tub that contains all my Bionicle sets I own and show some of those but most of them are either deconstructed or broken and even then the idea of getting out a bunch of toys just for the sake of this day only to put them back once it’s over isn’t that appealing. So instead, I wanted to talk about some bits of Bionicle related media that I really like and hold a special place in my heart. The movies.

Now if you follow me mostly for the art I commission then chances are you know what ONE OF the reasons I love one particular movie are but in truth I actually like all three of the classic Bionicle movies and there’s actually a bit of a deeper reason for that. You see, I was pretty into Bionicle since day 1. I got the original 6 matoron from the McDonalds happy meal promotion back in 2001 and while I didn’t get every single set in this themes lifespan, I still collected enough that I was super into it from a really young age. Then I learnt about the first movie that was getting released, the Mask of Light and with how into this line I was of course I wanted it. My parents eventually got it for me after like a few weeks after it came out with me eventually getting both Legends of Metru Nui and Web of Shadows for my birthday in 2005 and of course I loved them but one of the reasons why that is was because of something I only found out while watching the first film.

Bionicle had lore! Obvious statement to say now especially with how much of a meme it is just how much lore Bionicle had but back then I barley looked up anything online relating to Bionicle and only really just played with the sets my parents would buy for me and the commercials for these sets rarely played when I watched TV so I had no idea there was actually this big, grand storyline that was going on. I mean yeah, I do remember the Rahkshi sets coming with a comic panel as well but I never really read them so these movies were my first clue that these were not just some cool LEGO toys I was building. These were cool LEGO toys I was building that were also actual characters with their own stories, personalities and roles in a world that was only going to get bigger from this point onwards. Yup, these movies were basically what kick started me wanting to pay more attention to the lore of the theme. Or at least as much as I could or have the patience for.

A majority of the lore for Bionicle was told though books, both comic books and story books. And even back then I wasn’t much of a book reader only really reading books that were required of me in school or this one Mario themed choose your own adventure book on a train ride during a school trip where we had nothing else to do since we couldn’t bring out portable game consoles. My mindset back then was basically “if it doesn’t involve characters actually talking or moving pitchers I’m probably not going to be interested” and one of the few Bionicle books I did get I only really wanted because it came with a version of Tahu’s Hau Nuva after it’s been poisoned by Lerahk so most of my Bionicle lore knowledge came from the movies.

Granted that probably might not of been the best call on my part growing up since with how expansive Bioncle’s lore is these movies tended to be VERY condensed versions of that years storyline at the time and would often skip over major parts such as the Toa Metru’s hunt for the great disks being condensed into a minuet long montage with the Morbusa from that half of 2004’s story only being seen in the background of that montage and not being able to see the Toa Hordika test out there new abilities like they do in some of the comics. Hell, Web of Shadows actually has a pretty big lore breaking error in it with Nuju using X-Ray vision even though while Nuju’s mask does have some degree of X-Ray vision one of the negatives to being a Hordika is that you CAN’T use your mask powers!

But, with how my preferred way of consuming media growing up was purely visual could you really blame me for wanting to get my lore from these movies!? To the films credit, Web of Shadows DID also have Roodaka, Norick and Nuju’s voice actors from the film doing voice over for a few comic panels in the special features of the DVD and also a short preview of the flash animations for that year so I did still engage in some of the lore outside the movies.

Another reason why I enjoyed the movies as much as I did growing up, and this is going to be a VERY hot take I know but it’s actually because of the designs they gave the characters in the movies. Some people REALLY do not like the movie designs for the characters because of some of the liberties they took for certain characters but I actually think they look really dam good. Stuff like how the Nuva chest pieces are uniquely coloured for each toa instead of all just being purely silver like they are in there sets, having actual hands and fingers, the Turaga having robes re-enforcing the whole wise elder thing, the Rahkshi being actual nightmare fuel compared to their original sets, female characters like Gali and Nokama having slimer figures compared to the male characters, the Rahaga’s helicopter blades that get lowered when not used, the Hordika have one arm that was permanently having there weapons fused to them while still having a semi normal if elongated arm which really helped drive home how the Hordika transformations literally turned you into a monster, it’s hard for me to not like these designs a lot. Granted they aren’t perfect translations of the toys since Pohatu doesn’t have the inverted torso his set usually does and Makuta not looking a thing like his actual set (although to be they were basing his design of an early prototype LEGO sent over during Mask of Light’s production and his finalised design for retail hadn’t been decided yet) but most of the issues I do have with the designs are so minor they aren’t worth me making a big deal over. I never had Sidorak growing up but even if I did I’d MUCH rather his design in the third film than his original set. I DID have Roodaka though and let’s just say it caught me off guard when I found out she was a woman. Yes, I really did think Roodaka was a guy before watching Web of Shadows. Considering Roodaka’s race consists of both male and females AND there’s not body differences between either gender meaning that even the guys have those boobs… yeah.

Still on the topic about how these movies presented themselves there’s also the soundtrack to these films and allow me to be blunt. Holy fuck, these movies go hard with there soundtrack! It’s kinda hard to explain how good these are though a written form but I seriously encourage you to look up the soundtrack to these films and give them a listen. They are actually all officially on Spotify to my surprise, and I am so glad they are because it’s a great trio of soundtracks. I mean they had no reason to go as hard as they did with the soundtrack for a direct to DVD movie trilogy, but they did and I love it! These movies might not be perfect by any means especially since Mask of Light literally resurrects a character a few minuets after he dies which I hate in ANY story but the amount of work they put into these movies on top of just being really fun movies with some pretty good morals if you look into them is what kept me watching them multiple times as a child.

When I got back into Bionicle again last year one of the first things I did was watch these movies again since they were all on the Bio Media Project website which is an archive of every single bit of Bioncle related media there was including the movies and I still enjoyed watching them as an adult as I did as a child. I mainly used Bio Media Project for watching them because I haven’t been able to find my old DVD copies of these movies. Sadly, Web of Shadows was the last movie we would get in a long time. The Bionicle storyline might have continued but we were not getting anymore movies at least until 2009 which was always sad to me. Because the storyline from 2006-2008 was this big multipart story where Mata Nui, the God of the Bionicle world, was dying and our heroes needed to find the Mask of Life to save him with the story arc eventually ending in the reveal that Mata Nui wasn’t actually a god but rather a giant robot and everything that had happened in the lore up to this point had been happening inside this robot! AND the toa sets for 06 and 07 specifically were some of the Matoron from 01-03 which included Jaller and Hali who were in the first movie so seeing a film where these characters I knew as being small civilians who were barley able to defend themselves turned into super powered badasses would have been so cool. Honestly, I just wanted to see how these hypothetical films would of adapted the character Karzani! That guy is the definition of “Oh good god, how are we going to translate this mentally unstable miss mash of parts into our style!?!?”

I would try to make more of an effort to play the flash games beyond this point since I did go onto the internet a lot more from 2005 onwards to varying degrees of if they were cannon or not and also got Bionicle Heroes which even as a child I knew wasn’t cannon but it wouldn’t be until 2009 when we would get one more Bionicle movie. And it was terrible!

This isn’t even a “Oh, I grew up with this movie and loved it back then and now as an adult I don’t like it” thing either. No, even as a child I knew this movie wasn’t very good! Unlike the previous three movies which were made by Mirirmax, The Legend Reborn was done by a new animation studio of TinclleTown Toons and it shows. Because to put it bluntly, this pretty much felt like a watered down version of the previous three movies. The animation to me at least looks worse, the soundtrack was pretty forgettable, the dialogue felt incredibly awkward at times, it toned down a lot of the more darker aspects of the previous films for silly slapstick and while the characters do look a lot more accurate to the toys this time they also for some reason put these spinning gears on them that are pretty distracting. Yeah, it’s not a very good movie. The worst part about this movie being as toned down as it is was is that the story line of this year was set in a pretty violent place as well and outside of the Glatorian Areans where you couldn’t kill your opponent’s there were no rules on Bara Magna and anything goes. It was pretty much the Bionicle equivalent of Mad Max but with cool cyborg people. I watched this last year as well and had to stop in the middle of the climax because unlike the last three movies I couldn’t download an MP4 of this one so I had to stream it from Bio Media Project itself since I wasn’t aware it was the only Bioncle Moive you can still buy normally today via Youtube for some reason and it froze before the reveal of who the traitor was. I only ever watched this film once before this point and it was the night after my mother got me this film and I really don’t think I missed out on much not rewatching this as much as I did and I’m only really talking about it here because I know if I don’t, I’ll get a bunch of comments asking me about it.

So yeah, that’s pretty much all I have to say. The Bionicle Movies excluding Legend Reborn were my favourite Bionicle related media growing up and with how into Bionicle I’ve been again since the middle of last year I thought it was only appropriate to talk about it for Bionicle Day. Now then, since I am still in a bit of a nostalgic mood I’m off to go play some Bionicle Heroes while blasting the movies soundtrack and then maybe later visit the old websites on my Windows XP Virtual machine. Because 2000’s nostalgia is like cocaine to me right now!

There’s a lot of reasons why I love the Super Smash Bros series. And there’s a lot of things that have only ever shown up in one Smash Bros game or the other and have never returned since like items, stages and modes. Which yeah, I do find sad but that also means that pretty much every game in this series has some reason to go back to it. However there is one thing that’s been a staple of this series since Melee but never made it into Ultimate that I wish would come back in a future Smash Bros game. And it might actually surprise you what that is. It’s not a specific game mode like Smash Run or Crazy Orders or any specific Adventure Mode even though that would be nice to see make a comeback. Nor is it any certain character, I mean obviously I would love if we still get ever single character from Ultimate in the next game on top of a bunch of new characters. No, the thing I’d want back most in a new Smash game more than anything is Trophies.

Yup, out of everything that was ever in the previous games and was not in Ultimate I’d want to see make a comeback, the collectable trophies are the thing I’d want back most. And there is a bit of a personal reason as to why I’d love to see them again. But first, let me actually go over what trophies are in Smash for people who don’t know. They first made their appearance in this series in Melee and were collectable figurines you could get through various different methods by just playing the game. Usually when you cleared classic mode with a certain fighter you would get their specific trophy along with different variants of that character from beating Adventure Mode and All Stars mode. However, you could also unlock trophies of other non-playable characters or items though stuff like bonus games, the lottery machine, certain event mode matches and as the series went on you were able to unlock them from clearing certain challenges or rewards from some of the other various side modes as well as a shop in Smash 4 Wii U/3DS. And there are A LOT of trophies in each game so unless you were unlucky enough to get a duplicate of a trophy you already had (which sadly happens to me a fair bit) you were basically constantly being rewarded for playing the game.

And one of the reasons why I loved these little collectables in Smash, aside form just looking really nice and the way they were all displayed in game, was actually the bios and lore that was attached to these trophies. Every trophy you got also told you a bit about the character or item the trophy was based on as well as even what specific games in a franchise they originated from as well as the system you could play those games on. Granted, they were incredibly brief descriptions, and they didn’t tell you EVERYTHING about a character. I mean in Brawl alone the Paper Mario trophy only talks about his role in Super Paper Mario and lists that as his only appearance even though there were two other Paper Mario games he’s been in before this, Gardivoir’s doesn’t mention how it is able to create a black hole like some of its Poke Dex entries in Pokemon do, Ganondorfs doesn’t even have anything on how he’s the only male in a race dominated purely by females and the Wedding Bowser one has aged horribly because it mentions how this might be the last time we will ever see Bowser in a tuxedo only for Super Mario Odyssey to come by a decade later and prove it wrong. Even with how brief some of these were it was still enough for me have an interest in learning about these different characters and franchises.

And that’s the whole reason I fell in love with trophies in the first place. Paired with the masterpieces mode which let you play short demos of some of the games these characters came from it was a way for me to learn about some of the various franchises that were featured in Smash and grow an interest in them. It wasn’t uncommon for me to spend a bunch of time in Brawls coin launcher mode which was the replacement for the slot machine from Melee because that was the quickest way you could unlock new trophies if you have a lot of coins saved up because I loved reading about some of these characters and franchises I had never seen or heard of before and it’s what caused me to get invested in some of the ones I am now.

I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned this in the past but I owe a lot to Smash Bros, Brawl in particular as that was my first Smash game, because it’s what got me into some of the franchises I am into now such as Zelda and Pokemon which up to that point I wasn’t aware WAS a game and thought this whole time it was just an anime. And the trophies were one of the massive reasons for that. They weren’t just some cool collectable you could get from playing the game or anything, they also told you a bit about who those characters were and where they came from. It’s one of the main reasons why Smash Bros continues to be one of my favourite crossovers in gaming. It’s also why I’m not the biggest fan of what was introduced in Ultimate as their replacement, Spirits.

For as much as I love Ultimate and do still think it’s one of the best games in the series, the one thing I think I’ve come to dislike about it more and more over the years is the spirit mode. It’s cool that Spritis actually had a role in gameplay unlike trophies since these gave your characters different buffs and were a major part in World of Light, but outside of the gameplay reasons they really aren’t that exciting to me. They are literally just JPEG’s. That’s it. It’s literally just the official artwork of that character. No description or bio telling you about that character’s story or personality, nothing. That’s honestly pretty lame if I’m gonna be honest. Especially since both Trophies and Spirits COULD still exist in one game. Hell, they technically have! Prior to Ultimate, Brawl had a similar mechanic with Stickers which were another form of collectable and while they were exclusive to that games adventure mode they more or less has the same purpose as Sprits, something you could equip on your characters and they would buff you in game.

In an ideal scenario, THIS is how I’d want the next Smash Bros game to handle it. Still have Spirits for gameplay reason as well as the fights to unlock them but still have the trophies with there bios for people like me who want to learn more about these characters. And also, maybe masterpieces mode making a return as well, that would be great two. It won’t be the end of the world if they don’t but still. The sad thing is the part of my brain that is a little cynical is thinking that if we ever do get what I’m asking for back there is a good chance this fandom would probably complain about it being “advertising” for other games which obviously I’m exaggerating but considering this is the Smash Bros fandom we are talking about who look so deeply into everything that Sakrui says thinkings it’s some deep hint towards something, seriously think Sakurai hates Waluigi and who are so thinn skinned they make a big fuss over what characters are or aren’t added into Smash/are added but as Mii Costumes/are made into Assist Trophies I wouldn’t be surprised if they would genuinely think this. I really can’t go one discussion about Smash without making fun of it’s God awful fanbase, can I?

But if Wii U and 3DS really is the last time we might ever see trophies in a Smash game, well… at least we still have Amiibo’s IRL right?

HEAR ME OUT! Please just HEAR ME OUT ON THIS! I swear I have a good reason for thinking this. After all, why would you say something like this and not have a good reason for it or are only saying it to piss people off and get attention. Thank God there’s no one like that in real life ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. HA HA HA HA HA HA….

I really haven’t been enjoying the idea of going to the cinema lately. I have slowly been coming to this realisation more and more recently. Not because there’s nothing on at the cinemas, that’s not true. We are still getting some great movies that are coming out in the theatres. Nor is it even because video games tend to be my preferred form of entertainment. I mean yeah, they are, but I have been in recent years making more of an effort to actually watch new movies and shows… Usually while having Wii Fit running in the background and doing something like Free Jogging. Hey I gotta keep myself in shape SOMEHOW!

No, my reasons for not enjoying going to the cinema lately have been born from a result of bad personal experiences. Not with movies themselves (although granted I have sadly seen bad movies in cinemas like The 5th Wave) but rather the experiences themselves. Some major, some minor, both contribute either way.

Forced 3D Showings

Remember when 3D was like this big new thing movies were trying to implement in almost every movie? You also probably remember that when going to a 3D showing of certain movies they forced you watch those movies with those glasses with the red and blue lenses in them. I actually first remembered this being a thing with Spy Kids 3 where it was advertised as a big part of the movie and they were really in your face with it in the advertising. And it wasn’t long before I started seeing more movies having this. And I hated that! And this isn’t even some “Oh, I loved this as a child” thing either, no! Even as a kid I hated the 3D showings of movies! Because none of them really felt 3D to me.

In fact, anytime I’ve ever seen a movie in 3D it’s felt less like stuff was literally popping out of the screen and more like I was just watching a movie with a red and blue filter on it. I don’t know if this was just a me thing or whatever, but I never experienced any form of true 3D at 3D screenings. And that’s not even taking into account how they make you wear those glasses that you have no idea who’s used them before and might be carrying diseases on them. The only time I ever truly felt real 3D was when I went to Movie World in Queensland as a child and they had a showing of Shrek 4D. THAT actually did feel like real 3D. Or 4D as they were calling it there.

The one movie I remember hating that it was a forced 3D showing the most though was when I went to see The Walk. Some of you might not remember this movie but it’s a film based on a true story about a French high-wire artist who wanted to tightrope across the Twin Towers. At the time this movie came out, late 2015, I had been going to the cinema on my own a fair bit thanks to me having my licence (kinda. I mean I COULD drive without any supervision, but I had a limit to how many passengers I could have in my car and had to have a red P Plate on my window) and was also 18 meaning I could see pretty much everything without needing supervision… And the one show time it was running that was available for me to see was a 3D showing. *Sigh.* I mean, I still liked the movie anyway but the fact that I had to wear one of those stupid glasses for an effect that barley works just got to me hurt the experience for me. And considering I was still in High School at this time meaning I didn’t have a very open schedule to begin with it was either this or not at all!

Getting Sick at Inconvenient Times

Speaking of inconveniences, how about the number of times I’ve had to step out to go to the bathroom? Because it’s sadly happened a fair bit. And sometimes at the most inconvenient times two! How To Train Your Dragon; had to step out right as the climax was starting. Shreak 2; I don’t remember what point I had to step out specifically but I hated that I had to given how much I love this movie. Ferrari; Had to step out not once but TWICE to go to the bathroom. Worst part is that the movie Ferrari was something we took my step farther out to see for his birthday so that fact I couldn’t be present for at least like 20% of the movie sucked.

This is granted a pretty minor issue I know but not being able to pause a movie to go to the bathroom meaning you could miss important plot points or details doesn’t help at all.

The Super Mario Bros Movie

Okay, now we are getting into more specific examples and when I said earlier that my reasons for not enjoying going to the cinema recently came less from the movies themselves and more from the people at those theatres this and one other movie are the major reasons. Because I loved the Super Mario Bros Movie! It was a great movie that had some really fun moments, actually felt like the games it was based on unlike the live action one from the 90’s and the fact that I enjoyed this movie as much as I did is even more amazing considering this film was made by an animation studio that’s notorious for having some of the worst or most bland movies in the industry.

Yeah, I liked this movie. I did not like my experience going to see this movie however! You see, I saw this movie day one when it came out in theatres, even managed to get off work 30 minutes early so I could go home, get changed and make it in time. And all though out this movie there was one loud and obnoxious guy in the theatre who was shouting out at every single reference he saw. “OH MY GOD, KID ICARUS! OOH, PALUNE! YO YOSHIS!” and he even made a reference to the “And then there’s Chunky, he’s dead…” meme at one point. And I hated it. Like he wasn’t even sitting next to me or anything, he was a few rows down and I could still hear him. It’s like dude, I know! I’ve played these games two! Most of us watching this movie have! Now can you please let up enjoy the movie in peace?

You know those react channels on YouTube that love to point the most minor things or easter egg or get all loud and screamy over certain things? Yeah, this was like that but I had to put up with it personally happening a few feet away from me. When this movie came out on Blu Ray a few months later I brought it, got home and was so happy I could watch this movie in peace without having to deal with anyone disturbing that peace.

Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

And then, we get to my experience going to see Across the Spider-Verse. Bit of context for this one. When I went to see this movie my little cousins had come over. They are extremely young, like 10 at most, and usually when they come over my mother usually takes them to see a movie at the theatres offering to take me with them as well since what else am I going to do that afternoon? And they don’t always make the best judgment calls on what to see since while we have taken them to see stuff like the Sonic 2 movie, the last time before this particular visit Puss in Boots The Last Wish was showing at the cinema and what did we go and see? The Mummies! A mediocre movie about ancient mummies ending up in London and the whole thing was basically “Lol, look at these old ass undead beings struggling to adapt to modern society.”

So when they booked tickets to take the kids to go see Across the Spider-Verse of course I’d be excited to see this. Especially as someone who loved the original Into the Spider-Verse and had finally gotten to the play the one Spider-Man game I had always wanted to for over a decade the year prior Shattered Dimensions. You all know where I’m going with this, I loved the movie but the experience going was painful.

-Neither my mother or Step Farther knew it was an animated film until AFTER we got to the cinema despite the fact that they booked these tickets online meaning they HAD to know this beforehand

-One of them complained about how the movie was “two long” which is REALLY rich considering they saw Avatar the Way of Water in cinema which was even longer than Across the Spider-Verse at 3 hours and 16 minutes.

-One of them admitted they only came for the popcorn.

-Another complained the movie was “two confusing” which was their own fault for thinking that considering they fell asleep half way though.

-Oh and the cherry on top, they wrote the whole thing of as nothing more than a “kids movie” just because it was animated. Even though the whole plot of this movie is pretty dark and mature since Spider-Man 2099 is basically saying in this movie “Oh yeah and umm, you have to let certain key characters in certain universe die otherwise that universe it wiped out!”

Yeah, there attitude after this movie was finished didn’t exactly put me in a good mood for the rest of the night. And let me just say if THIS is how they act over this movie then I pray to God they never find out about shows like The Owl House or Amphibia, shows that are aimed towards children but also have very mature themes and morals in them! (I mean the final episode of season 2 of Amphibia even opens with a disclaimer it might be disturbing to some viewers.)

So yeah, those are pretty much all the big reasons why I have grown such a sour taste in wanting to go to the cinema willingly. I don’t want to have to run the risk of being forced to watch it in 3D, I don’t want to miss out on key plot points all just because natures call and don’t want to have my experience of a movie I’m otherwise enjoying be soured by the people around me. Compare that to watching movies in the comfort of my own home where I don’t have to put up with other people potentially running my experience, can watch those movies whenever I want, can pause at any time to go to the bathroom or just to simply do something else important for a few minutes. Which actually brings me to one finally point.

I’ve Always Enjoyed Watching Movies at Home A LOT More Than At The Cinemas Anyway

Yeah, I’ve just always preferred this over having to clear out my schedule just to drive to a cinema for an experience I probably could have had a better time with at home. Not just because of the reasons I’ve brought up already but also because it’s a lot more accessible to me in general. Both because of DVD’s/Blu Rays and Streaming services. DVD’s I can literally just buy at my local JB Hi-Fi and that’s it! The movie is mine to keep forever and watch whenever I want. All I have to do is just pop it into my PlayStation 5, PlayStation 3 or PlayStation 2 and just hit play movie! I mean watching movies though physical media like DVD’s or Blu Ray’s aren’t perfect either and do have their own issues. Aside from the fact that not every movie or show is available at my local places not every show or movie is also lucky enough to get a physical release. Some shows that originate on streaming services do, I have a copy of the The Last of Us series to prove it, but for others it’s either get a streaming service or go fuck yourself! And that’s not even bringing up how disks can get scratched or might not work anymore if you don’t take good care of them or some of them have unskipable adds. I mean at the end of the day they are still really minor issues anyway.

Then there is streaming services. For the price of literally a movie ticket, or hell maybe even less if we are comparing the entry fee for most streaming sites to the cinema I’ve had to frequent in the last decade and a half *Screams in Australian money* you get access to a whole host of movies new and old depending on the service to watch on whatever compatible device you have as well as access to a bunch of other great original stuff like The Mandalorian, Inside Job, Invinsable and Guillermo Del Toro’s Pinocchio. I mean Disney + alone has every episode of Futurama on it while Prime Video has The Matrix on it! It’s worth becoming a subscriber for those alone! Oh but don’t think I’m letting Streaming Services off the hook either because they aren’t perfect either. For some services, Netflix in particular, they can actually remove certain movies or shows from there site. And I REALLY don’t get why. Like, it is a legal issue or something? Did there licence for those movies or shows run out? They will give you a warning most of the time when something from your watchlist is about to be taken off but I still wish this wasn’t the case. Oh, and there’s also the fact that you have to constantly be connected to the internet at all times while watching so sorry if yours goes out for whatever reason. Thankfully those services let you download certain movies and shows… on the mobile apps only. Seriously, why it that limited to only the mobile apps and not something I can do on my PS5?

But honestly, given the option I’d rather take watching movies at home though either of these methods than run the risk of having another awful experience at the cinema. So yeah, that’s pretty much why I haven’t had any motivation to actually go to the cinema lately. It has nothing to do with me wanting to do anything stupid like boycotting a movie I have no real interest in seeing anyway (I seriously can not express how stupid I think the concept of boycotting is to begin with) or me being some wired edge lord who thinks he’s cool because he’s a rebel who doesn’t do what everyone else is doing or anything like that. In fact, I think people should still go to the cinema if they want to so that they can support a movie they are interested in. As for me, I think I’m fine with supporting that movie a few months later when it comes out on physical media or streaming.

There, I ended this with a positive conclusion. Now no one who’s new to this page will ever accuse me of having a controversial take!

Genie Bellmo: This coming from the same guy who un-ironically likes Heavy Rain and Detroit Become Human?

……… Shut up!

What is up people, this is Nerds and Players here with some horrible news that I am sad to announce. The Philips CDi has killed gaming! And Zelda The Wand of Gamelon has killed the Zelda series gentlemen! Like I don’t know how the series, or even gaming as a whole will ever recover after this!

ZELDA IS DEAD!!!

What has caused me to come to this conclusion? What about this harmless Zelda game has caused the industry to become instantly dead? Get this! They made Princess Zelda… the main character!!!

ZELDA HAS GONE WOKE!!!

Can you believe this people!? Can you believe they actually made a Zelda game where you play as the princess!? Obsured! No one wanted this! No one would of ever asked for this! Why would Nintendo allow this!?

Ahh but see, this isn’t Nintendo’s fault! This is the fault of Philips for thinking they could make a Zelda game for there brand spanking new console. Now see if Nintendo were the ones handling this game then the series would never of gone woke like this.

NINTENDO SHOULD NEVER LET OTHER PEOPLE MAKE GAMES FOR THEM!

Oh but you want to know what the worst part of this whole thing is? Link is the one you have to rescue in this game! THAT’S RIGHT! The normally masculine and brave Link, the man we have been playing as for this whole series and has always rightfully been the main character… is now reduced to nothing more than the dude in distress that needs to be saved? Meanwhile Princess Zelda is now this strong, independent warior who’s able to defend herself agents all manner of monster. Is this an attack on men?

MEN ARE UNDER ATTACK!

It has to be! That has to be the reason this whole game was even made in the first place! As an attack on men! And all in a vain attempt to make the Zelda series go woke!

BOYCOTT PHILIPS! MEN ARE UNDER ATTACK!

They should of just released Link Faces of Evil on it’s own and thrown this woke garbage down the drain! No one wants to play as Princess Zelda in a Zelda game! This series will never recover and it’s all Philips fault. Nice job shoving your agenda down our throats you woke assholes! No wonder this game is getting negative reviews! People don’t want this woke BS in gaming! We just want good games! Just give us good games! That’s all we are asking for! Is it that hard?!?!

“Umm dude, I have a friend who has a Philips CDi and Wand of Gamelon. He says that the bad reviews for this game are ACTUALLY coming from the fact that it’s a poorly made game with bad controls, terrible cut scenes, bad voice acting, bad level design and none of the negative reviews are coming from the fact that you play as Zelda. Especially since Link Faces of Evil has all these same issues and is getting the same negative reviews.”

HEY! No one gave you permission to talk! Your job is to man the camera man! You just lost yourself a job!

“*Sigh.* Fine. I hated working here anyway. Oh, and one more thing, if you’re going to whine about the series going ‘woke’ because they dared to make the character who this series is named after actually playable you might as well whine about Metroid since Samus is a female.”

… OH MY GOD YOUR RIGHT! FORGET WHAT I SAID! BOYCOTT NINTENDO AS WELL! NINTENDO HAS GONE WOKE TWO!!!1!!

“*sigh.* Me and my big mouth.”

Alright you guys, I just got some BIG, MASSIVE and most importantly IMPORTANT new info from my super secret inside source at Nintendo about a brand new game they are going to be announcing at the Nintendo Direct this month. Oh what’s that? You want proof that I do have an actual super secret source inside Nintendo? Oh don’t worry. I have proof. My super secret source at Nintendo goes by the alias "My Asshole!" And let me tell this, the info I’ve gotten, it’s big! Like my super secret source has only sent me a portion of this massive game that Nintendo are working on so when I say this is a big game, I mean it’s a MASSIVE game!

What is this mysterious game I’m talking about that will be announced officially this June folks? Well not only is it a brand new game but it’s also going to be a launch title for the Nintendo Switch 2! It is none other than Super Mario Odyssey 2: Galactic Odyssey!

That’s right! This new Mario game is not only a sequel to Super Mario Odyssey but also a sequel to Super Mario Galaxy making this a duel sequel! But the ambition doesn’t just end their folks, oh no! This game is far, FAR more than just a simple Mario Odyssey and Galaxy sequel! It may honestly be the greatest video game I have ever played in my life. It is a game that has not only surpassed my expectations but took my expectations on a fancy dinner date. And then proceed to give my expectations the most sensual session of intercourse they have ever had!

Join Mario on his most emotional and epic adventure yet which will take him not only beyond the Mushroom Kingdom but beyond the planet as well! No actually, not even just an adventure into space but beyond dimensions two! In fact, there will be not just one Mario but several! Main series Mario, Dr Mario, Paper Mario, Grand Dad, Live Action Movie Mario and Illumnation Movie Mario! All will be playable, and all must team up to defeat Bowser once and for all who has now become the most powerful being in the known universe after absorbing the life force of all the other Bowsers in all the other universes and now seeks to conquer the universe with his new awesome might.

Not only is this the best story in a Mario game I have played to date but every single character from Mario’s past is going to make an appearance. And, maybe a few crossover characters from other franchises as well! And I don’t just mean other game franchises either! No no, somehow Nintendo managed to get the rights to use characters from several movies and TV shows! AND the story will even have multiple endings depending on the choices you make and the relationships you build with certain characters. Including romantic ones! So for all you Vivian simps out there, be happy you can end the game and Mario’s story married to her and knowing the two will live the rest of there lives happy together. Or maybe you’d rather Mario’s story end with him in a relationship with Sonic the Hedgehog. Who says these rival mascots can’t be more than friends?

For this brand new game Nintendo has done away with levels and stages and has instead made the whole game one seamless open world! Using the power of the Nintendo Switch 2 and running on Unreal Engine 4, Unity, Frostbite and RE Engine Nintendo has created a world with no loading and one that really feels alive. You’ve never seen the Mario universe as alive and as detailed as this before folks! Now all you people who for some reason hyper focused on Mario’s more detailed hair in Odyssey 1 can hyper focus on new detailed stuff. Best part is that every character is voice acted with full dialogue. And the soundtrack is also provided by none other than both John Williams and Danny Elfman themselves! Not only will this adventure look epic but it will sound and feel epic as well!

But that’s not all Nintendo is doing with this new game! The gameplay has been completely overhauled as well! Oh, the classic platforming gameplay is still here and retained BUT with new enemies with higher health and as a result, a reworked combat system with new moves and combos to learn and master. That right! You get to throw hands with gommbas and koppas and all manner of monsters. But you won’t be fighting alone, oh no! You will fighting alongside various other characters who can join you on your adventure as your companions who you again, can also build relationships with. And you and your crew can explore the Mario Galaxy in style thanks to a new method of travel, the Great Fox! Yes, Star Fox has decided to lend Mario their own spaceship. Yeah, they could have given him the Comet Observatory or Starship Mario but those things don’t have laser guns or turrets.

And those things will be necessary because another new feature of this game is Space Battles! Not only will Mario be battling on the ground but also in the air! Defend yourself using the Great Fox’s on-board defence systems OR deploy the Arwing for fast paced dog fighting. Best part is, your companion also gets to fly around in their own Arwing. Better part, the Arwings can be customized! Not just for Mario but for each individual companion you bring with you!

But it won’t just be fighting Bowsers army you can do. I mean you CAN focus purely on that but that’s only about like 20% of the game. You can also accept side quests from various different characters and engage in so many engaging and interesting side story’s that flesh out the Mario universe and let you see a side to these characters you may have never seen before. Such as helping Rosalina find a new home for her Lumas after the Comet Observatory was sadly destroyed by space pirates. Or helping Luigi finally be brave without having to rely on Mario. Or joining Kirby as he hunts down some missing food from his stash.

Platforming and action not your thing? No worries, you can also go Go Kart racing. Or how about playing some sports? Sing karaoke, bet on horse racing, dance the night away, play some chess or checkers, have a party, buy and decorate a home to store all your gear and items, do ANYTHING you want in this game! Forget Mario Kart! Forget Mario Party! Forget Dance Dance Revolution Mario Mix! You won’t need to play any other Mario game ever again as THIS will be the ultimate Mario experience! Actually, you won’t need to play ANY other game period! Because this right here? THIS is the true ultimate gaming experience! Best part is that this game will be pre installed onto every single Nintendo Switch 2 system and will work with EVERY SINGLE CONTOLER IN EXSISTENCE! That way, anyone can play with whatever they are comfortable with. Yes indeed, Nintendo has crafted one of the greatest video game experiences ever and I will gladly give them all my money for when this game officially releases. Even though I have a super secret source inside Nintendo who could also just send me the full thing for free…… Huh.

Now, for as perfect as this game already is, I do have to be honest since my super secret source has given me free reign to talk about this game however I want so forgive me for talking shit about an un-announced game that isn’t even finished yet but I know will be perfect anyway. While the side quest where you have to help Donkey Kong preform with his new Bongo band was a great moment of character building for the big ape, it was a pain in the ass to have to buy a set of Jungle Beat Bongos on Ebay which are mandatory for this section. The Rosalina Romance route isn’t finished in this build yet and the game will crash if you try to confess your love to her. Luigis voice lines and animations are not finished yet either so he’s permanently stuck as a T Posing mannequin. And even though I LOVED the cameo appearance of Raiden from Metal Gear Rising it was obvious he was clearly only shoehorned into this game as a love interest for Luigi. But who cares honestly. Because the bonus mission where you get to play as Shovel Knight and Shantae fighting a giant mech to the tune of Undefetable from Sonic Frontiers IS AWSOME!

And the cast! Oh is this an all star cast! This game stars… Mario. Luigi. Peach. Daisy. Rosalina. Wario. Waluigi. Yoshi… Wait, why am I going over all the characters you’re expecting when I can instead go over the surprise guest characters! Such as… Link. Darth Vader. Indiana Jones. Twilight Sparkle. Blitzo. Dante. Bayonetta. Morrigan. Ezio Adutorie. Sans. Sonic the Headghog. Crash Bandicoot. Spyro the Dragon. Heisnburg. Trevor Philips. Homer Simpson. Omni Man. Freddy Fazbear. Shovel Knight. Shantae. John Snow. Boyfriend. Micky Mouse. Bugs Bunny. Spider-Man. Batman. Mata Nui. Matt. Pewdiepie. Jacksepticeye. Markiplier. And special guest starting Dwayne the Rock Johnson as Kirby!

Oh boy, I can’t WAIT until Nintendo announces the full game at the Nintendo direct! And the best part, my insider even game me the release date! The release date for this game is… Wait what is that sound? … OH SHIT! IT’S THE NINTENDO NINJAS! GOTTA GO!....................................................................................................

Well this sure as hell won’t be a super hot thing for me to post or anything! Then again, when is anything I say that isn’t satirical NOT a hot take?

I play A LOT of video games. And I play a lot of different kinds of video games since I think it’s important to try different kinds of games and different types of genres of games and if you’ve seen the games I usually talk about or even just the pics I’ve commissioned which usually tend to have characters or other aspects tied to various games I really like then that should be obvious. So you can imagen how hard is it for me to admit that there is actually one specific type of game that I struggle with the most. Not struggle playing or anything, not even struggle to get my hands on but struggle to get really invested in and what that one is might actually surprise some of you. Turn based JRPGs.

Yeah, out of all games, slower turn based JRPG styled games are the ones I have the most inconsistent experiences with. And obviously this isn’t me saying ALL RPG’s are something I struggle with, far from it. Fallout New Vegas, Skyrim, Undertale and Indivisable are all RPG games that are, at least at the time of me writing this, in my top 25 favourite games of all time. Not to mention me actually enjoying God of War 2018 and Ragnarock which were more like RPG’s than the original games as well as how I actually do enjoy the RPG Assassin’s Creed games much to the confusion of like every die hard AC fan and I would really love to play Mass Effect one day when I get the chance. Hell I’ve even played Mega Man Legends for the first time recently since it’s something I have had an interest in and oh boy, those controls have NOT aged very well! And of course there’s a bunch of games I’ve played which have RPG elements in them that I've also enjoyed.

No, rather it's the slower classic turn based style of RPG’s I tend to struggle with the most. Why? Well it’s mostly due a combination of personal experience with certain games that use this formula, real life factors and maybe because of what I use to mainly play growing up.

To be fair, there have been JRPGs I’ve played that I have really, really loved. In fact at the start of this year alone I played Super Mario RPG for the first time via the Switch remake and actually really enjoyed it but that’s mainly because I had a REALLY shitty start to this year which lead to me not really being in the best emotional state and this game helped a lot mentally for me. I mentioned my top 25 favourite games of all time before and there are actually at least 2 turn based JRPG’s on that list. Persona 5 and Pokemon Moon although with how Undertale’s gameplay is structured and maybe Indivisble I could probably count those in this category two though I'm still torn on if I'd consider the latter truly turn based or not.

Persona 5 I brought back in 2018 while I was on a holiday overseas in Hawaii for a second time and since the PlayStation 4 wasn’t region locked, thank Arecus, I decided to buy this game for when I got back home to Austraila. Yeah, I probably could of brought something for my Switch instead since that also isn’t region locked and I brought that with me on this trip but there was nothing out at the time I really wanted for my Switch anyway and Smash Ultimate was still six months away at that time. Actually, in general there wasn’t a whole lot I desperately wanted to play back in 2018 since I felt like I had cleared up my backlog of games I REALLY wanted to play. So with nothing else to do I played Persona 5 when I got home and when I did, I got REALLY into it. Like I spent that whole week playing nothing but Persona 5 since I wouldn’t be starting my job I finally managed to get for at least another week. I loved pretty much everything about this game from the story to the characters (well except for fucking Morgana the little shit) and the way the persona system worked. Granted, I spent less time with game after a while but I still loved it and had a great experience with it. I was a little heart broken though that this game was how I found out that even though PlayStation 4 game disks were not region locked, DLC was. Because I brought all the DLC for this game and none of it would install onto my NTSC copy meaning I had to essentially buy the game again but making sure it was the PAL version just so I could use those DLC costumes. *Sigh.*

Then there’s Pokemon. Not just one game in particular but the whole franchise I really like. Yeah, Sun and Moon are my favourites and for good reason two but my love for this franchise never actually started with this game like admittedly a lot of my favourite games in a lot of my favourite franchises. It actually began with Heart Gold and Soul Silver in 2010. I was just starting high school this year and I do feel like that does play some part in why I was so into this game back then because I was 13 at this point in my life while going though a bit of a rough transitional period and had a lot of time on my hands when I wasn’t doing school work and had a lot more patience two. And also admittedly my Nintendo hyperfixation I had at the time thanks to Super Smash Bros Brawl. Or maybe it was because this game came packaged with the Poke Walker which I used to death back then. Or maybe it’s because the whole concept of Pokemon was capturing all different kinds of monsters and using them in battles all of whom had different weakness and strengths and designs. I think this is the reason I’ve stuck with Pokemon for so long, all the different Pokemon you can get in these games and how no one run of the same game will ever be the same especially if you give yourself a self imposed challenge like not using any items or using only Pokemon of one specific type. Which is ironic considering, fun fact, this wasn’t even my ACTUAL first Pokemon game. That was Mystery Dungeon Explores of Time which was a completely different game gameplay wise to the mainline series. That’s also probably the reason I gravied towards Persona 5 so much since your able to use different personas in battle some of which are enemies you can convert to your side.

So yeah, slower JRPG’s have been some really great games and experiences I’ve gone though. But also some have been experiences I’ve lost interest in pretty quickly. Which ones in particular? Well, here’s some of them.

Final Fantasy VI: This is only one of several Final Fantasy titles you’re going to see here that I’ve fallen out of pretty quickly during my own playtime with. Although this one does have a bit of a special place in my heart since it was one of the only games I ever managed to get on the Wii Shop Channel back when that was still a thing. And I admit, I did actually get a decent bit into the game up until past the boss fight with the train and haven’t even played it since then. 12 years ago!

The Original Version of Final Fantasy VII: This was one of the many games an old friend of our family left for us after he sadly passed away in the late 2000’s along with his PlayStation 1 and his slim PlayStation 2 which is actually the reason why I have both a fat and slim PS2. And I tried several times also in 2012 to play this game for long sessions yet the farthest I’ve ever managed to get before going “Well, guess I’ll go play *insert literally any other game I enjoy more here* instead” was Shinra HQ. On Disk 1!

Final Fantasy VIII: Pretty much the same story as VII. One of the many PS1 games left to me by an old family friend only this one I booted up even less number of times than VII and didn’t even get as far either. I got up to when they send you to that island for that massive battle because apparently in this universe it’s perfectly okay to send child soldiers into a fight since the Geneva Convention is more of a suggestion. Or maybe it doesn’t even exist. Honestly, with how people believe Squal is actually dead for the remainder of the game beyond the first disk and the rest of the game is just a dream anything’s possible!

Final Fantasy X: Okay there is actually a bit of a funny story behind this one in particular. I actually once played this game as a really young child at a friends but never actually knew what the game was and it was during the part really early on on the ship after you meat everyone. It wasn’t until a few years ago after the game got re-released I tried it and got to that point I realized I had actually played this as a child and never knew it… And also dropped the game AT that exact point childhood me originally played it.

South Park the Stick of Truth: It really sucks I gotta put this game in particular here considering I actually really like South Park anyway, it’s one of the few Adult Animated shows that has been running for decades at this point I actually still enjoy when I do catch an episode, but I brought this game back in 2016 and got an hour in before dropping it and haven’t played it since then.

Dragon Quest XI: I managed to play this via the demo that was released on the Nintendo eShop back in 2019 which let’s you play the first 10 hours for free and I mainly played this because Hero was being added to Smash Ultimate and I’m kinda glad I did play this via the demo because only three hours into this game and I started to fall out of it.

Earthbound: When you consider what Earthbound is and how it was the direct inspiration for one of my favourite RPG's of all time anyway I should love this one! Like I should adore this one actually! But honestly, even before I got the means the means to play it, even before the game that was inspired by it was even a thing, just one look online at how Earthbound played and how it wasn't that different from most other RPG's from this time was enough to tell this wasn't for me and even when I did get an SNES Mini which had Earthbound installed on it guess how much time I spent in it compared to literally anything else that's on this thing? Yeah, not a lot.

Paper Mario: Speaking of turn based RPG's I want to love, this is another one I REALLY wanted to love because I love the Mario franchise and I did have such a good experience with Super Mario RPG especially since I did actually have Super Paper Mario growing up and the Thousand Year Door remake was only a few weeks away when I decided to start playing this. But I got four hours into this and up to the second star spirit before dropping the game entirely and focusing on Kirby 64 which I also started playing at this time. And most of that was because of how even though I liked the combat system at first, I started to feel like I was just going though the motions after a while. Jump on these enemies, don’t jump on these ones because they hurt you, use the hammer on these ones, use your sentient bomb waifu to kamakazie herself for the really hard ones and literally pray to God to restore FP.

Paper Mario The Thousand Year Door: And spoiler alert, my experience with Thousand Year Door wasn’t any better either. In fact, this time it took me only an hour of playing to realize I still wasn’t as into it as I wish I was and I didn’t want to feel like I was forcing myself to continue just because everyone goes on about how it’s the “greatest game of all time." Yeah, the Paper Mario fandom hyping this thing up as if it’s literally God’s gift to Earth probably didn’t help my experience either. Which sucks that that likely does play a part in this because I normally REALLY fucking hate when people use a games fandom or the fact that the game has any sort of popularity at all to trash it because that’s a really unfair way to judge a game you haven’t even played yourself like with how people tried pulling that shit with Five Night At Freddy’s or Undertale when they first came out. But with how much people love putting this game on such a high pedestal ignoring the fact that even some of my favourite games of all time also aren’t perfect on top of this fandom acting like you killed there dog if you say you don’t enjoy it or even enjoy the later games (especially Sticker Star) then yeah, forgive me for being maybe a little more critical of this game than I’d like to off been.

Paper Mario Sticker Star: Oh hey look, here’s Sticker Star right now! Look, I’m someone who thinks that Sticker Star is grossly over hated to the point where some of the hate comes off as overly cartoonish and childish to me. (One user on Twitter actually buried there copy of Sticker Star in the ground after the TTYD Remake announcement because “Ha ha, this game bad. Good game grow from it” which grow the hell up dude. Just say you don’t like a certain game and that be it.) But as far as actually playing this game goes, I got a few hours in before also dropping it for the same reason I did 64 and TTYD and literally the only reason I even tried this one was because of how everyone goes on about how awful it is and I had to try this for myself! And I’m sorry, but some of you clearly have never played an ACTUAL bad game in your lives if THIS is what you see as one of the worst games of all time and it shows!

Yeah that’s a fair amount of turn based RPG’s to have played and dropped quite early isn't it? So why do I usually struggle to get into a lot of turn based RPG’s? Several reasons.

-I tend to find the combat system in many of these games boring after a while.

-They can be really grindy at times especially ones where EXP isn’t shared with your whole party.

-They can be really slow and take a long time to even finish casually.

The first one is pretty self explanatory. It’s the combat of these games, the thing your going to be doing for a lot of the game and as the name implies, it’s turn based. You take a turn to attack an enemy or to use and item and then it’s their turn to attack you and there are a bunch of other factors to take into consideration like stats, levels and in some cases strengths, weaknesses and immunities on top of getting newer and stronger moves as you level up and some games do shake things up a little such as with the action commands in Paper Mario where pressing the button at the right time during an animation leads to a stronger attack or pressing it during an enemy attack letting you takes less to no damage. Considering how much you have to take into consideration when playing these kinds of games I should love this style of combat. When you know what you’re doing you feel really smart and like a tactical genius and that is satisfying.

But for me personally, it’s just not as engaging as I’d like it to be. Most of the time it feels less like “Oh shit, we got a battle on our hands! This is going to be intense” and more like “Aww gezz, it’s one of THESE assholes again. Guess I’ll have my guy who knows this attack that is super effective agents this type of enemy deal with this so we can get a move on.” And it probably doesn’t help that a lot of older JRPG’s relied on random encounters where you couldn’t see any enemies on the screen until RNG decides it’s time to for you to fight and you have to spend a minuet dealing with fodder enemies that die in one or two hits or spend several minuets dealing with a stronger one you’re not prepared for and can’t escape from and could likely wipe out your whole party. The reason games like Undertale and Deltarune get away with this for me is because while yes, it mostly being the standard turn based fair when it’s your turn, the game shifts to a bullet hell type game when it’s the enemies turn and each enemy having different kinds of attacks to avoid in these phases which feels a lot more engaging to me than just praying to RNGeesus the next hit doesn't outright kill you or pressing a button at the right time... While still praying to RNGeesus! Plus, unless you’re going for the Genocide route these games are mercifully short anyway so they never over stay there welcome.

It's also probably a result of many of the kinds of games I played growing up anyway. Not counting that one session I had of Final Fantasy X at a friends as a really young child that only lasted five minutes anyway many of the games I played growing up were either platformers where for most of them all you had to do to defeat enemies was just simply jump on them, action games which got straight to the point and had very fast paced combat, shooters which also just got straight to the point but with guns or open world games which gave you so much freedom to do anything you wanted within the games world! I wouldn’t play my first turn-based RPG until I was a teenager and entered high school and even then I still didn’t have much interest in a lot of them. In fact, many of the games I had an interest in though out most of the 2010’s were action RPG's with more involved combat or still mostly platformers, open world and action games as well as my love for the Character Action/Stylish Action genre being re-ignited in the later part of that decade.

Now some may be wondering about Fire Emblem at this point since that is also a slower and more tactical series of games. And this might surprise you, but I don’t really count that series in the same camp as turn based JRPG’s. Yes, these games are turn based but they are more about controlling an army and getting them into the right position to attack and you have to take a lot into consideration such as terrain, the weapon triangle, who to bring into the battle, the durability of your weapons, which classes would be best to use agents what especially your flying units, yeah it sounds wired but Fire Emblem has A LOT more going on in them than most typical turn based RPG’s. And that’s not even counting Casual mode which was introduced in New Mystery of the Emblem and has been in all the games since then making them a lot more accessible to new players. Phoenix mode in Fates was a dumb mode though.

But say I DO find myself enjoying a turn based combat system. Then I’d have another issue to deal with. Grinding. Because you’re not just playing as one character for most of these kinds of games, your controlling several! Which means you need to watch after there own levels and stats and if you don’t spend a while grinding then they won’t be at a high enough level to deal with anything because you didn’t want to spend an hour killing the same enemies for EXP but as a result your party has fallen behind in terms of power level and do you see why this can be a deal breaker for me?

Now to be fair, some turn based RPGs especially modern ones do have EXP be shared with your whole party even if they never actually partook in the battle themselves which usually eliminates the need to grind, thank Palutena! Some people hate that shared EXP is a thing in some games but I’d rather it be like THIS and me actually feeling like I’m getting somewhere rather than wasting hours of my life going on a mass genocide of generic enemies to grind when there are better things I could be doing with my time. This is also the reason why, for as much as I love this series, I have little to no motivation to replay any of the Pokemon games pre X and Y in particular because X and Y made the EXP share a key item that affects your whole party and you get really early in the game instead of it being a held item you only get one off, only affect the inactive Pokemon holding it and you don't get until really late into the game and since EXP being shared with your whole party has remained all the way up to Scarlet and Violet, yeah of course I'd want to replay these particular ones more than the older ones. For as much as I love Heart Gold and Soul Silver and will still hold a lot of nostalgia towards it, do you wanna know when the last time I ever did a full playthrough of that game, including the Kanto post-game and secret boss fight with Red, was? Mid 2015! 9 years ago! And almost five years after my original playthrough two!

And all of this both play a huge factor into the third reason I struggle with slower turn based JRPG styled games, they can be really slow and take a long time to get going! On average these games can take a VERY long time to beat. And I mean VERY long time. Like as in, my original playthough of Persona 5 the total play time managed to get close to 100 hours. Hell, my PS1 copies of Final Fantasy VII and VIII came on three disks which was unheard of for me at the time. And sadly, I don’t have all the time in the world. Most of that is because of me having a job as well as interacting with some of my friends online I’m still surprised I’ve managed to make in the past few years but also because there are other games that either are coming out, are out and I want to play, games I never got to play growing up for various reasons but really want to now that I have the means to play them or games I just haven’t played in a long time and want to again. For as much as I love Persona 5 and still stand by it being one of my favourites of these kinds of RPG’s I’ve played, knowing how long it took me finish the game casually (and Persona 5 Royal takes even longer than the original release) would I really want to go through all of it again when there are other games I’d want to play instead which wouldn’t take as long for me to finish?

So yeah, that’s pretty much everything I wanted to say. My experience with some turn based RPG’s and why I’ve had such an inconsistent experience with them. Which sucks that I do struggle with them so much because a lot of these actually have some really great stories, lore and characters tied to them. But if I’m not enjoying the actual gameplay of these games or they take so long to finish then I’m probably not going to want to see those stories though to the end. I am still really grateful that I tried a lot of these kinds of games out because again, trying new things is important. But if I ever play any RPG then they either have to not take to overly long to finish or have gameplay I actually find engaging. I am fully aware that the Final Fantasy VII remake changes the gameplay from the original’s turn based system into something much more involved and I would be willing to try that one day if I ever get around to it.

Okay so let me get this straight! Mario and Peach go on a well deserved vacation hoping to get away from all the bullshit that they have gone though in the last few games… And Bowser still kidnaps Peach anyway? Okay, sure thing Nintendo! Just reuse the plot of the previous Mario games! Cause that’s not lazy storytelling or anything.

Oh, and the place they go to, get this, is called “Dinosaur Land.” Wow, what a creative and unique name for a new location that is. But then again, what do we expect? This is the same company that named the main location for their games “Mushroom Kingdom.” What’s next? Bean kingdom? Flower kingdom? We get it Nintendo! There are mushrooms in the Mushroom Kingdom and dinosaurs in Dinosaur Land! You can name your fictional setting ANYTHING! Why name it after the thing that’s most common in that place? That’s just lazy writing!

Can someone explain to me why when you play the space levels in Star Fox you can still hear explosions and laser fire and stuff! Hello, there’s no sound in space! Space is a vacuum!

Or how about the fact that it takes only a few minutes for the Star Fox team to travel to a new level. In Space! It took NASA four days for one of there rocket to get from our earth to the moon! The closest star to our star, the sun, is Alpha Centauri A. That is 4.3 light years away from us! And I can only assume that the Star Fox universe runs on many of the same rules as our universe! Lotta planets and stars, very far apart from each other! It should not take only minutes to travel between levels! What Nintendo, did you just expect us to forget about astro physics for the sake of “having fun” in a space game?

So the newest Zelda game, A Link to the Past, is a prequel to the first two Zelda games and the intro tells the story of the Triforce and how it was hidden in a golden land that people fought tooth and nail to get into, and that the king ordered seven wise men to seal that land up… Christ, stop adding so many things to the lore Nintendo, your ruining my Zelda and making it two overly complicated!

Who is Smithy in Super Mario RPG!? Where does he come from!? Why is he evil!? Who are his parents!? Why do people follow him!? And why are so many of his minions and weapons so impractically designed? Is he meant to be evil or a clown!?

Let me get this straight, Konami releases a brand new Castlevania game, name it Super Castlevania IV implying that it’s a brand-new game in the series… And it’s just a retelling for the first game with the same protagonist!? Hey, Konami! If I wanted to play Castelvania 1 I would of just play Castlevania 1!

You guys aren’t going to believe this. In Super Mario RPG one of the party members is PRINCESS PEACH? Why!? No one asked for this! Why are they having a woman be pro active and actually help in this game!? This is an attack on masculinity and men! Nintendo is clearly trying to pander to the woke crowd with this shit! Don’t buy Super Mario RPG folks! Vote with your wallets!

Have you guys seen the new Mega Man design they gave the character in Mega Man X? What the hell is this? Why did they change him from this cute and adorable little guy who could still kick your ass if he needed to into this grownup edgy ass looking as mofo? Who is Capcom trying to appeal to here!? Adults? Edgelords? We should boycott this game and show Capcom we aren’t having this new design! That’ll make them go back to the old one, I’m sure!

Wait a minute, Bowser has spent several games up to this point being at odds with Mario and trying to kill him… And Mario’s response is to invite the guy to a fucking go kart race!? Why!? Did you just forget all the shit Bowser has put you though Mario? Is Mario retarded or something? Come on Nintendo, this is basic story telling! You can’t just ignore the fact Bowser’s a villain!

So the Contra series began on NES with Contra 1. Then for the next game they decided to name it Super C for whatever reason. But now, with this new game on Super Nintendo they call it Contra 3? Umm, where’s Contra 2 Nintendo!? Did we skip a number? Or are you guys meant to be telling me that Super C is Contra 2? If so, why not just call that Contra 2? In fact, why don’t we just stick to numbered sequels anyway!? It’s not that hard people!

Man, those mech things in the opening of Final Fantasy 3 were so stupid. The cockpit is exposed meaning your way more exposed to attacks and dangers. It’s just a really impractical and dumb design overall ha ha ha. No wonder the main villain of this game is a clown!

Actually, why is Kefka evil anyway!? Is there a reason? Or is he just doing evil shit for the sake of doing evil shit!? Basic storytelling Square!

So, what the hell is up with the backgrounds during the battles in Earthbound? What were they trying to do with those things? Blind the player? Give them epilepsy? Well congratulations! You did just that! Had to check myself into the hospital because my already poor eyesight was ruined by this game!

WHY IS THERE NO NEW ICE CLIMBERS GAME FOR THE SUPER NINTENDO!?

Christ, why are the Kirby games all so easy? Games need to be hard! Games need to push the player to all limits! Kirby doesn’t. Oh sure, Kirby Super Star does some new things not seen in the previous games but you know what else it’s never done that would be appreciated? ACTUALLY MAKING THE GAME HARD! We aren’t babies Nintendo? We can handle a harder challenge! So just give it to us already!

OH MY GOD NINTENDO WE GET IT! Metroid 1 was a thing! Just because you make us play though the opening section of it in Super Metroid doesn’t make you look clever!

So is there any specific reason King K. Rool want’s Donkey Kong’s bananas so much? Yeah Crocodiles eat bananas but why Donkey Kong’s specifically? There are bananas across this whole island! Just pick those instead! Maybe put a little more thought into your writing game!

Let me get this straight Nintendo. You make a sequel to Super Mario World, put Mario in the title… and you make it a Yoshi focused game!? Come on guys, you can’t just put a character’s name in the title and then have us not play as them!

Oh and the crying Baby Mario does when you get hit is so fucking annoying! Were they trying to drive the player insane or something? Well congratulations, you’ve done just that! I’m taking my copy of this game back to my local Blockbuster and getting a refund!

Jesues fucking Christ Nintendo, did you really have to go that dark for the final boss of Earthbound!? This is a game for kids, are you trying to traumatise them or something?

If you ask me I think the Metroid series would be selling much better if Samus was a guy! Keep your wokeness out of my games Nintendo!

Bellmo The Great. Once a well loved and respected figure online, now one of the most notorious criminals on this platform with very few still watching him. But how did this simple man go from normal content to most notorious man on the internet? Let us dive in as we analyse the rise and fall of BellmoTheGreat.

BUT before we do, I’d like to thank todays sponsor of this video AFK Journey. The newest hit game you have probably seen tons of adds on Youtube before a video starts anyway have been kind enough to sponsor this video. I mean I’ve never played the game myself, probably never will, but they are paying me a lot of money to get you all to go try it. And if you use my creator code RoodakaInBionicle3DidNothingWrong you will get… something, again I’m only being paid to promote this game and will probably never actually play it for myself but still, I need this ad revenue so protect your internet privacy today… Wait that’s not what AFK Journey is?

Born in 1996 in a hospital in some city in Victoria Australia BellmoTheGreat spend much of his childhood going to school and playing video games and school and more games and family stuff and just in general a lot of un-interesting stuff I’m obligated to talk about anyway. He was a pretty un-known person on the internet for a long time. Until that fateful year of 2014 when he decided to create a DeviantArt account.

He began life on this account uploading pics he drew using premade bases of his Brony Persona. These works garnered relative popularity especially due to Bellmo being pretty involved in the brony community. And he would continue to do this for several years. However, after a while he stopped! At some point in 2018 he quit doing stuff with premade bases and his last pony sona related pic was uploaded on February 12th, 2018. When asked about why in interviews he responded with…

“Wait, you set up this whole interview just for that? When you could of just DMed me? Dude, there’s no deeper reason as to why I stopped, I just fell out of wanting to do stuff premade bases. I never fell out of the show, I just fell out of wanting to continue making this particular stuff… Oh my God, are you really writing down everything I’m saying?”

This end of his pony era would then mark the beginning of a new era. Before this final pic he would get his first ever commission in 2017 of his new human OC Mikaela in the coils of the Pokemon Milotic. And then, the snowball of paying other people to draw for him continued. With more OC’s and more pics coupled with pics of non-OC characters and all were of human looking character compared to the ponies he was doing stuff with before hand. Despite this, his reputation would not faulter. In fact, he gained even more of a following than he did in the past with these comms. And he would enjoy relative success for a few years longer with his content ranging from stuff involving hypnosis, coils, latex and all other strange interests he has.

However, it wasn’t until one day his true downfall would come! As one day, while he was out with a personal friend of his for lunch a once follower of Bellmo’s was tailing him with a recording device and recorded THIS chilling conversation! Viewer discretion is advised, some might find this disturbing!

Bellmo: “… So, would it be a hot take if I said that I thought the Gamecube wasn’t as perfect as everyone makes it out to be?”

Friend: “Umm, yeah! That is like the hottest take you could ever say right now when everyone freaking loves that thing!”

Bellmo: “Not surprised. I mean like obviously I’m not calling it overrated because I DON’T think that and I absolutely hate that phrase to begin with but I still feel like people REALLY love over selling this thing and it’s games.”

Friend: “I mean to be fair the games are actually pretty good thought.”

Bellmo: “Yeah I am not denying that at all and they are great games but I’d hardly call them perfect either. Nothing is really. Super Mario Sunshine has physics so awful I’m actually amazed anyone was able to beat this game as a child, sailing the Great Sea in Zelda Wind Waker is nowhere near as fun as exploring Hyrule Field for me personally, Super Smash Bros Melee is considered the best in the series yet only two characters in the whole thing are ever played and they are only the best because of broken mechanics, F-Zero GX goes WAY to overboard with the difficulty, Pikmin’s product placement in the original release was so awkward it made me question if this whole thing was originally intended as an advertisement, in fact the only Gamecube era game I can say I really love is Zelda Twilight Princess but even then that’s more from me growing up with the Wii version and not the Gamecube one. Oh, and there’s also the fact that the Gamecube houses the worst version of Metal Gear Solid 1 which doesn’t help it’s case.”

Friend: “Doesn’t the Playstation 2 also house a weaker version of Resident Evil 4?”

Bellmo: “Yeah but at least that version was just a port and wasn’t a from the ground up remake that went to far in a few places.”

Friend: “Heh, true. Hey, let’s just be grateful were not having this conversation online because people would have a melt down over this!”

Bellmo: “Hey, if they got upset at me for a simple opinion then that says a lot more about them than it does me!”

Once this conversation was recorded the once fan of Bellmo’s got home and uploaded it for all to hear. And only a second after it did it went viral. Bellmo would soon become the target for many news outlets and social media backlash. Including none other than Pyrocynical making a video about it.

“Now, you all know I don’t really care about this petty small dick energy level drama BUT FUCK IT! THAT’S ALL ANYONE CARES ABOUT ANYWAY SO I’M GONNA TALK ABOUT IT!”

Some even looked into his past and saw some stuff truly disturbing. His first ever video game console was a PlayStation 2. And since then, he was gone on to own a PlayStation Portable, PlayStation 3, PlayStation Vita, PlayStation 4 and even a PlayStation 5. When these details went public, he was then outed as a PlayStation fanboy and soon his follower count dropped even lower than ever before. Eventually Bellmo would come out about the incident a few days later on his socials. And what he said in response was…

“Okay first of, please don’t stalk me like that out in public! It’s creepy and I have a life outside this account people. That is a good way to make someone scared to leave their house. Second, I grew up with a Gameboy Advanced alongside my PlayStation 2 in the early 2000’s, many of my favourite games from the late 2000’s were Wii exclusives, I have both a DS Lite AND a DSi on top of the 3DS being one of my favourite handhelds, I got a Wii U only a few days after its launch and also a Nintendo Switch a few days after its launch. In fact, for a while I would often buy the Switch versions of games I already had anyway just because “Portability.” Not to mention one of my favourite franchises ever began life on the Gameboy Colour. How in God’s name am I a ‘PlayStation fanboy?’”

Despite his words, Bellmo’s attempt to correct the situation fell on deff ears and it was instead seen as nothing more than damage control to gain followers back. But the general public was not having it. He lost ALL his followers and respect with his watcher count being dropped to -1 and it was mainly dropped to that number specifically because of a glitch. Not even the general public was having it as seen by this clip of him trying to buy a used game as a used game store.

Bellmo: “Yeah hi, I’m looking for a copy of Grand Theft Auto Vice City please? The copy I’ve had since childhood barley works and is damaged beyond repair and I REALLY need a replacement thanks.”

Store Clerck: “Hmm, yes. And I’m guessing that will be for PlayStation 2 right?”

Bellmo: “Umm, yeah thanks. My original copy was the PS2 version, the PlayStation 2 is one of my favourite systems of all time and…”

Store Clerck: “Not even willing to give the Gamecube version a chance?”

Bellmo: “Excuse me? Vice City was never even released on Gamecube.”

Store Clerck: “Oh but then again you probably won’t want to buy ANY Gamecube game anyway!”

Bellmo: “I mean, have you seen how expensive some of those games are? Honestly, even as someone who loves collecting physical media those games it’s honestly just easier to emulate them than blow over $100 or more on a 20+ year old game.”

Store Clerck: “So you’re a pirate as well!?”

Bellmo: “I’d hardly call it piracy if most of those games aren’t even being officially sold anymore.”

Store Clerck: “I’M SELLING THEM!”

Bellmo: “Yeah, and none of that money is going to the original creators anyway.”

Store Clerck: “Oh but you WILL buy used PS2 games though won’t you!?”

Bellmo: “Yeah, because they (most of the time) are way more affordable.”

Store Clerck: “Just say you hate the Gamecube mate, it’s not that hard!”

Bellmo: “Dude, I just want to buy a copy Vice City to replace my old broken one and go home please.”

Store Clerck: “Say it!”

Bellmo: “Oh fuck this, I’m going home and playing the PC version.”

Truly a terrible display.

So where is BellmoTheGreat now? Well, he has a stable job and good friends and is going by his day-to-day life drama free… Wait, that’s not how these things usually end! Who wrote this!? Isn’t he meant to be in jail or homeless or something!?!? Guys, seriously! This isn’t meant to have a happy ending! He needs to be down on his luck! There is no happy ending for those on the receiving end of drama!!!

5 things Nintendo has to do, MUST do, NEEDS to do, SHOULD do for the Switch 2 to be a success. And no, this isn’t personal opinion! This is objective fact! Nintendo HAS to do ALL these things! They HAVE to or else I won’t like it! I WON’T LIKE IT AT ALL!!!

NUMBER 5

They need to take risks with this console but not two many risks you know? Like make it similar to the Nintendo Switch so that it sells but not two similar. But also do a bunch of new stuff and new gimmicks that give it it's own identity while also not doing two much new stuff but still doing enough new stuff while still not being afraid to experiment with…

You’ll never please everyone, you’ll never please everyone, you’ll never please everyone, you’ll never please

NUMBER 4

They also should package the system with a VR headset to attach it in and make every single game VR compatible to really get the most of this gimmick while also making all the older Switch 1 games playable in VR because VR is the way of the future and…

It’s impossible to please everyone, it’s impossible to please everyone, it’s impossible to please everyone, it’s impossible

NUMBER 3

Nintendo should also port Superman 64 to the Switch 2 because it is a historical game, and historical games alone are enough to justify it being on newer hardware and I am a very smart person has good ideas. I mean why else would I also have 10 more videos planned on games and features Nintendo need to also add!? Not for ad revenue, I can tell you that!

NUMBER 2

They also need to port every single game I already own onto this thing so I can have an excuse to spend more money and play them again on a new system instead of just simply playing them right now on if I wanted to. I can make system better! Nintendo should listen to me! ME! MMMEEEE! MMMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

NUMBER 1

… They just need to make a good system with some good games on it. That’s all. What “needs” to happen for the Switch 2? What “has to” happen? Fucked if I know. I can tell you what I WANT though. Some fun games I’ll enjoy that will make buying the system worth it for me. Nothing more, nothing less.

And also maybe the entire Switch library being playable on it two, that would be great as well.

No, probably not. Thank you and goodnight.

…………….. Okay, to all the people who stayed and actually care about what I have to say allow me to say thank you for actually giving a shit about what I have to say. And also allow me to say that me saying that I don’t think I’ll be as excited for a new Smash game as much as I was for Ultimate isn’t some sort of result of me becoming cynical or anything. Nor was it even a result of Ultimate being disappointing because it wasn’t. I love Ultimate and in the five and a half years it’s been out that hasn’t changed. Rather, I think the reason I won’t be as hyped for a new Smash Bros game as I was for Ultimate can be answered with another question. Where the Hell do you even go with this series from here?

The whole reason I was even as hyped for Super Smash Bros Ultimate in the first place was because of its main selling point. “Everyone is here!” Every single character who was ever playable in a previous Smash game was going to be playable in Ultimate regardless of if they were from third party franchises, only ever made one appearance in a game before hand or were previously DLC in Wii U and 3DS on top of the new characters we would be getting. No one was going to be left out. It was, for lack of a better term, the Ultimate Smash Bros experience. THIS was the whole reason I was as into Ultimate leading up to and after its release! And the best part is that every character felt good to play as two! Unlike previous games none of them felt really that overpowered unless you were playing with Spirit’s enabled, they all felt balanced and even characters who were literal jokes in the past like Pichu were actually good… I mean Pichu still hurts himself in this game if you use his electric attacks but still. I actually watched that overview trailer from Nintendo 2018 E3 presentation again while writing this and I cannot begin to tell you the amount of nostalgia I got just from watching that. And it was only half a decade ago two! The moment Solid Snake showed up in that trailer and the words “Everyone is here” showed on screen I knew my hype was justified.

This also meant that realistically, all kinds of people who play this game should have been pleased. Those who take these games very seriously, main specific character who might not be in every game and have a deep, deep, DEEP passion for this series to the point where they will play on nothing but Omega Stages with items off and normal human beings who just want to play a fun crossover game! And when the game eventually did come out, I felt like my hype paid off. I loved it! It was tied with Red Dead Redemption 2 as my personal favourite game that came out in 2018. I cleared every single challenge on the challenge board, 100%ed World of Light, got every single spirit before more were added via the DLC or free updates, cleared every characters classic mode routes, brought both Fighters Passes meaning I got every DLC character instantly and brought all of the Mii costumes especially because, come on, do I even have to say what characters that I really love some of those costumes belonged to?

Was it a perfect game? Of course not! No game is truly perfect. For as much as I love that every single character from past games was playable the way the roster is laid out where they are organized by when they first appeared in a Smash game instead of the characters being grouped together by series like in the past is something I will never come to love especially when the “Ready to Fight” text blocks half of the roster as well. Also, not every single stage made it into this game either. I mean some of the absent stages I don’t really miss that much anyway especially FUCKING YOU *Looks at Rumble Falls* but still. Not to mention for as much as I love that we got the Codex Calls back for if you’re playing as Snake on Shadow Mosses Island it’s only for the characters who were in Brawl and no new ones were added despite the fact that David Hayter admitted he would have been more than happy to record new conversations. Oh and of course Trophies > Spirits because at least the Trophies in the previous games actually told you some of the lore of those characters and series.

Even with those few issues I do have Ultimate is still in my opinion of the best and most complete Smash games in the series and one where my hype for it was more than justified. And by the time we got the final DLC character of Sora I asked myself “So… now what? Where does this series go from here? How are they going to top a game whose whole gimmick was that everyone was here?”

Yes, my whole reason for thinking I won’t be as hyped for a new Smash game if we ever get one as I was for this particular Smash is because it would be very hard to top a game that basically did what Mortal Kombat Armageddon tried to do but better and without feeling the need to compromise anything like MK Armageddon did! We might never get another game where every character is playable again. Because for a lot of these characters, mainly the third party ones, Sakraui really had to go out of his way to even get the rights to use them in the first place. I mean Sora alone cost the guy SO MUCH money just to get him into the game allegedly. Hell, I’m more impressed he managed to get BOTH Cloud and Sephiroth as well as the four variants of Hero in this game considering Square Enix when they did allow Cloud in Wii U and 3DS only allowed two Final Fantasy songs on the Midgar stage which came off to me as if Square was being WAY to strict with their properties.

If we ever do get another Smash game chances are high that we might not get every single character in it like we did with Ultimate. And I know for a fact that is going to upset A LOT of people. Especially if a character that doesn’t make it in is someone they typically main for one reason or another. Is that going to make the game bad over all? God no, of course not! Because as long as the game itself is fun and I’m having a good time with it then I’m not really going to be bothered to much if my man Robin really doesn’t make it into the next game somehow. But I know that it likely won’t ever reach that same level of hype that Ultimate did, at least for me.

And again, that’s even assuming we DO get another Smash game! Because with everything Ultimate includes and tried doing I personally believe this might actually be the last Smash Bros game! Or at least, the last one we are going to be getting for a long time. Sakurai has to know a new game might not be able to top this one and he might want to work on some other stuff until he get’s motivated to make a new Smash. Which honestly, I can totally buy if that is the reason and even respect it. Double so if it’s a new Kid Icarus game because I loved Uprising and it’s been a while since we got a new Kid Icarus game. At least that’s what I personally would want. Or maybe he just doesn’t want to make another Smash for a long time because of how God awful the fandom is and doesn’t want to put up with the harassment and bullshit from it any longer just because he dared to put in a new character that wasn’t on all of those copy pasted “TOP 10 CHARACTERS THAN NEED TO BE IN SMASH BROS” lists and videos. Which I also totally get if that is the reason we might not get a new Smash for a while and it sucks that Sakurai had to go though all that shit! I do not envy game developers if you couldn’t tell.