Ahh, Suicide Squad Kill the Justice League. Truly one of the greatest games of all time. A game with characters so perfect they make Kratos look like 3rd grade fan fiction. A game so juvenile that it could make even your angry grandpa happy. A game where all of my sexual fantasies about King Shark are rolled into one! Yes, Suicide Squad is peak gaming and a new household name in the gaming space.

BUT WAIT! Not everything in the community is all sunshine and rainbows. There is a sub section of this universe’s fandom that is crying out saying how this game is terrible and that the Arkham Games are so much better and that the developers don’t care anymore. Ugg, and that is just absurd! I mean yes, this universe HAS retconned itself several times willy nilly but is this game really worse than the older Arkham Games? Well let’s find out as today we are going to compare! Old vs new! All of the Batman Arkham games vs Suicide Squad Kill The Justice Leage and see how they compare to see which one is truly the best series. Starting with the most important thing in any game…

Graphics

Okay so first is the visual style of these games and yo, what the fuck is up with this ugly green filter in the original version of Arkham Asylum? Why they put that they? Did they just put that there because they watched The Matrix like ONCE and thought it’d be a good stylistic choice? And why the hell are ALL of these games set at nighttime? Makes for pretty repetitive visuals, don’t they? I mean I find it hard to believe Batman does everything in these games in only one night each.

Good think they fixed that in Suicide Squad and set it in both day AND night. I mean the only reason I can think of as to why all the Arkham games are set at night is because it’s actually a perpetual nighttime. Arkham games fail hard!

Gameplay

Well as disappointing as that was let’s move onto the gameplay! So what’s your main methord of attack in the Arkham games? Punching. Yeah, cause that TOTALLY is a good way to defend yourself, just punching. But in this game? You get something MUCH more sensible! Guns! Oh sure, in the Batman Arkham games we get a gun but all it does is just shot out a electrical charge that doesn’t even kill opponents and that’s it. Oh and despite being a bat, all you can do is glide while the Batwing is only used for fast travel.

But in Off Yourself Squad Unalive the Justice League, you get actual guns that kill people and can jump REALLY high and even fly! Yeah, fuck Batman Arkham!!! It’s like Toy Story actually. If you can’t fly, you’re not superior, get the fuck out of Andy’s House. Speaking of, isn’t it great that we are getting a new Toy Story as well? Because why commit to a definitive ending for your series when you can just milk it?

And the boss fights? Okay I’m sorry but why the fuck do people praise the Mr Freeze fight so much? Because you can’t use the same tactic on him twice? So? That’s not deep or anything, that’s just the game tricking you into thinking this fight is much better than it actually is! Or how about Deathjoke where the fight always will randomly get interrupted by quicktime event counters? Honestly, I think the developers were over paid a lot for these boss fights. But Unalive Squad? Straight to the point! Just shot the bosses, counter when needed! None of that un-necessary “depth!” Arkham fails again!

Map Desing

Okay so why the fuck does everyone praise Arkham City so much? This shit is so overrated! It’s literally just a small walled of section of Gotham City that’s run down to all hell and that’s it! Oh sure, there’s several indoor areas you can enter but guess what? That’s irrelevant because these areas only exist to make the map seem bigger than it actually is! And look at Arkham Origins! They literally just re-used Arkham City’s map for half of this one! How lazy were the developers of this game? “Oh but there’s a bunch of Christmas Decorations and stuff.” So? Or what about Arkham Knight were you have a chance to see a Jokerfied version of certain billboards and advertisements around Gotham as an effect of Joker’s blood! What an un-necessary detail! Honestly, if you ask me, the art department of this game was over paid.

Suicide Squad is much better in this regard because aside from the time of day actually changing as state earlier they don’t do anything stupid like wall off a whole area of the city while trying to come up with some lame lore reason why.

Characters

Okay so Arkham Asylum had like what, two playable characters who were basically just the same with very insignificant changes. City, four with the same issue. Origins, do you get my point yet? And all did the same thing overall. Punching. Like, who the fuck punches there oponents? Susicide Squad though? Eight characters, all unique movement styles and actually doing the smart thing and bringing guns with them! Thank god!

And I don’t care if Knight had like 8 characters to play as as well, they all were the same anyway at the end of the day being punchers! But Suicide Squad? Guns! How cooler is that!?!?

Story

Of course, what’s the point of setting Suicide Squad Kill The Justice League in the Arkham verse without giving it some continuity? And…

Yeah, anyone who praises the Arkham games for their story is a fucking sad loser who gets no bitches. The stories in the Arkhamverse are melodramatic and for chumps. Every so often I get some butt hurt fanboys asking me “HOW CAN YOU NOT FEEL EMOTION OVER THE ENDING OF ARKHAM KNIGHT? ☹” Bitch please! I just spent the whole day grinding out trophies for some Saint Patricks Day looking redditor just for the sake of the games true ending and I’m meant to feel emotion over an “ambiguous” ending that isn’t even ambiguous anymore? Only emotion I felt in that moment was that I didn’t have to play that garbage anymore. Or how about Origins that seriously thought we’d be fooled by Alfred dying when we know he’s alive in the other games? Or how it always comes down to the fucking Joker in these games being the villain?

Suicide Squad Kill the Justice League's story works because the gameplay and the story both match the tone! The sillier dialogue matches this games more energetic and wacky tone so much! There’s no silly melodrama or tension or “character development.” Not to mention Harley Quinn killing of Batman is a metherphore for Rocksteady finally letting go of their past that has shacked them for so long. Anyone who whines about this moment is stuck in the past and is a nostalgic blinded baby who hasn’t gotten their pacifier taking out in a long time and probably still drinks from juice boxes they get from their mothers!

“bUt SuIcIdE sQuAd Is TwO sIlLy!” YOU FIGHT SCARECROW IN A LITTERAL DREAM WORLD IN ASLYUM AND THE MAD HATTER FROM ALICE IN WONDERLAND IN CITY YOU FUCKING TURD!

“bUt I wAnT a MoRe SeRiOuS sUpErHeRo GaMe!” UGG! If you want a more “serious” superhero game go play the Super-Man or Wolverine games! Suicide Squad is better because it didn’t fall under the same “more serious tone” traps those games did!

“bUt ThEy ChAnGeD tHe GeNrA!” Suicide Squad is innovating! If you can’t keep up, then you deserve to be stuck in the past! Your just an old boomer who can’t accept anything new and would rather technology be stuck in the 80’s. This is the future of gaming! Live service battle passes that encourage you to play the game more and more or miss out forever on cool gear. And if we were never able to see how good stuff like this was then we might as well of let Hitler win World War 2. Out with the old, in with the new!

Yes, Suicide Squad has won this one! But what do you expect? Warner Brother, who are the publishers of this game, have made some wonderful content in the past like Velma and rightfully cancelled that one Looney Tones movie that was so forgettable I can’t be fucked remembering it’s name so it’s no surprise that this game would be as good as it is. For those who still insist that this game is trash and that the Batman Arkham games are better than please do us all a favour and find one of the bottles under your sink and drink it! At least then you’d be feeding some worms! Just remember to wrap yourself in plastic before you die, that way when all the piss and shit leaks out from that disgusting husk that is your body no one will have to clean up after you! But for everyone else, then I welcome you to the future of gaming!

Now, Suicide Squad Kill The Justice League is pretty much a perfect and flawless game but if I had to give a few suggestions for the next game, here’s what they would be.

-More microtransactions

-More DLC

-More time limited content

-More battle passes

-More monetization

-And make it only playable with an online subscription