HEAR ME OUT! Please just HEAR ME OUT ON THIS! I swear I have a good reason for thinking this. After all, why would you say something like this and not have a good reason for it or are only saying it to piss people off and get attention. Thank God there’s no one like that in real life ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. HA HA HA HA HA HA….

I really haven’t been enjoying the idea of going to the cinema lately. I have slowly been coming to this realisation more and more recently. Not because there’s nothing on at the cinemas, that’s not true. We are still getting some great movies that are coming out in the theatres. Nor is it even because video games tend to be my preferred form of entertainment. I mean yeah, they are, but I have been in recent years making more of an effort to actually watch new movies and shows… Usually while having Wii Fit running in the background and doing something like Free Jogging. Hey I gotta keep myself in shape SOMEHOW!

No, my reasons for not enjoying going to the cinema lately have been born from a result of bad personal experiences. Not with movies themselves (although granted I have sadly seen bad movies in cinemas like The 5th Wave) but rather the experiences themselves. Some major, some minor, both contribute either way.

Forced 3D Showings

Remember when 3D was like this big new thing movies were trying to implement in almost every movie? You also probably remember that when going to a 3D showing of certain movies they forced you watch those movies with those glasses with the red and blue lenses in them. I actually first remembered this being a thing with Spy Kids 3 where it was advertised as a big part of the movie and they were really in your face with it in the advertising. And it wasn’t long before I started seeing more movies having this. And I hated that! And this isn’t even some “Oh, I loved this as a child” thing either, no! Even as a kid I hated the 3D showings of movies! Because none of them really felt 3D to me.

In fact, anytime I’ve ever seen a movie in 3D it’s felt less like stuff was literally popping out of the screen and more like I was just watching a movie with a red and blue filter on it. I don’t know if this was just a me thing or whatever, but I never experienced any form of true 3D at 3D screenings. And that’s not even taking into account how they make you wear those glasses that you have no idea who’s used them before and might be carrying diseases on them. The only time I ever truly felt real 3D was when I went to Movie World in Queensland as a child and they had a showing of Shrek 4D. THAT actually did feel like real 3D. Or 4D as they were calling it there.

The one movie I remember hating that it was a forced 3D showing the most though was when I went to see The Walk. Some of you might not remember this movie but it’s a film based on a true story about a French high-wire artist who wanted to tightrope across the Twin Towers. At the time this movie came out, late 2015, I had been going to the cinema on my own a fair bit thanks to me having my licence (kinda. I mean I COULD drive without any supervision, but I had a limit to how many passengers I could have in my car and had to have a red P Plate on my window) and was also 18 meaning I could see pretty much everything without needing supervision… And the one show time it was running that was available for me to see was a 3D showing. *Sigh.* I mean, I still liked the movie anyway but the fact that I had to wear one of those stupid glasses for an effect that barley works just got to me hurt the experience for me. And considering I was still in High School at this time meaning I didn’t have a very open schedule to begin with it was either this or not at all!

Getting Sick at Inconvenient Times

Speaking of inconveniences, how about the number of times I’ve had to step out to go to the bathroom? Because it’s sadly happened a fair bit. And sometimes at the most inconvenient times two! How To Train Your Dragon; had to step out right as the climax was starting. Shreak 2; I don’t remember what point I had to step out specifically but I hated that I had to given how much I love this movie. Ferrari; Had to step out not once but TWICE to go to the bathroom. Worst part is that the movie Ferrari was something we took my step farther out to see for his birthday so that fact I couldn’t be present for at least like 20% of the movie sucked.

This is granted a pretty minor issue I know but not being able to pause a movie to go to the bathroom meaning you could miss important plot points or details doesn’t help at all.

The Super Mario Bros Movie

Okay, now we are getting into more specific examples and when I said earlier that my reasons for not enjoying going to the cinema recently came less from the movies themselves and more from the people at those theatres this and one other movie are the major reasons. Because I loved the Super Mario Bros Movie! It was a great movie that had some really fun moments, actually felt like the games it was based on unlike the live action one from the 90’s and the fact that I enjoyed this movie as much as I did is even more amazing considering this film was made by an animation studio that’s notorious for having some of the worst or most bland movies in the industry.

Yeah, I liked this movie. I did not like my experience going to see this movie however! You see, I saw this movie day one when it came out in theatres, even managed to get off work 30 minutes early so I could go home, get changed and make it in time. And all though out this movie there was one loud and obnoxious guy in the theatre who was shouting out at every single reference he saw. “OH MY GOD, KID ICARUS! OOH, PALUNE! YO YOSHIS!” and he even made a reference to the “And then there’s Chunky, he’s dead…” meme at one point. And I hated it. Like he wasn’t even sitting next to me or anything, he was a few rows down and I could still hear him. It’s like dude, I know! I’ve played these games two! Most of us watching this movie have! Now can you please let up enjoy the movie in peace?

You know those react channels on YouTube that love to point the most minor things or easter egg or get all loud and screamy over certain things? Yeah, this was like that but I had to put up with it personally happening a few feet away from me. When this movie came out on Blu Ray a few months later I brought it, got home and was so happy I could watch this movie in peace without having to deal with anyone disturbing that peace.

Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

And then, we get to my experience going to see Across the Spider-Verse. Bit of context for this one. When I went to see this movie my little cousins had come over. They are extremely young, like 10 at most, and usually when they come over my mother usually takes them to see a movie at the theatres offering to take me with them as well since what else am I going to do that afternoon? And they don’t always make the best judgment calls on what to see since while we have taken them to see stuff like the Sonic 2 movie, the last time before this particular visit Puss in Boots The Last Wish was showing at the cinema and what did we go and see? The Mummies! A mediocre movie about ancient mummies ending up in London and the whole thing was basically “Lol, look at these old ass undead beings struggling to adapt to modern society.”

So when they booked tickets to take the kids to go see Across the Spider-Verse of course I’d be excited to see this. Especially as someone who loved the original Into the Spider-Verse and had finally gotten to the play the one Spider-Man game I had always wanted to for over a decade the year prior Shattered Dimensions. You all know where I’m going with this, I loved the movie but the experience going was painful.

-Neither my mother or Step Farther knew it was an animated film until AFTER we got to the cinema despite the fact that they booked these tickets online meaning they HAD to know this beforehand

-One of them complained about how the movie was “two long” which is REALLY rich considering they saw Avatar the Way of Water in cinema which was even longer than Across the Spider-Verse at 3 hours and 16 minutes.

-One of them admitted they only came for the popcorn.

-Another complained the movie was “two confusing” which was their own fault for thinking that considering they fell asleep half way though.

-Oh and the cherry on top, they wrote the whole thing of as nothing more than a “kids movie” just because it was animated. Even though the whole plot of this movie is pretty dark and mature since Spider-Man 2099 is basically saying in this movie “Oh yeah and umm, you have to let certain key characters in certain universe die otherwise that universe it wiped out!”

Yeah, there attitude after this movie was finished didn’t exactly put me in a good mood for the rest of the night. And let me just say if THIS is how they act over this movie then I pray to God they never find out about shows like The Owl House or Amphibia, shows that are aimed towards children but also have very mature themes and morals in them! (I mean the final episode of season 2 of Amphibia even opens with a disclaimer it might be disturbing to some viewers.)

So yeah, those are pretty much all the big reasons why I have grown such a sour taste in wanting to go to the cinema willingly. I don’t want to have to run the risk of being forced to watch it in 3D, I don’t want to miss out on key plot points all just because natures call and don’t want to have my experience of a movie I’m otherwise enjoying be soured by the people around me. Compare that to watching movies in the comfort of my own home where I don’t have to put up with other people potentially running my experience, can watch those movies whenever I want, can pause at any time to go to the bathroom or just to simply do something else important for a few minutes. Which actually brings me to one finally point.

I’ve Always Enjoyed Watching Movies at Home A LOT More Than At The Cinemas Anyway

Yeah, I’ve just always preferred this over having to clear out my schedule just to drive to a cinema for an experience I probably could have had a better time with at home. Not just because of the reasons I’ve brought up already but also because it’s a lot more accessible to me in general. Both because of DVD’s/Blu Rays and Streaming services. DVD’s I can literally just buy at my local JB Hi-Fi and that’s it! The movie is mine to keep forever and watch whenever I want. All I have to do is just pop it into my PlayStation 5, PlayStation 3 or PlayStation 2 and just hit play movie! I mean watching movies though physical media like DVD’s or Blu Ray’s aren’t perfect either and do have their own issues. Aside from the fact that not every movie or show is available at my local places not every show or movie is also lucky enough to get a physical release. Some shows that originate on streaming services do, I have a copy of the The Last of Us series to prove it, but for others it’s either get a streaming service or go fuck yourself! And that’s not even bringing up how disks can get scratched or might not work anymore if you don’t take good care of them or some of them have unskipable adds. I mean at the end of the day they are still really minor issues anyway.

Then there is streaming services. For the price of literally a movie ticket, or hell maybe even less if we are comparing the entry fee for most streaming sites to the cinema I’ve had to frequent in the last decade and a half *Screams in Australian money* you get access to a whole host of movies new and old depending on the service to watch on whatever compatible device you have as well as access to a bunch of other great original stuff like The Mandalorian, Inside Job, Invinsable and Guillermo Del Toro’s Pinocchio. I mean Disney + alone has every episode of Futurama on it while Prime Video has The Matrix on it! It’s worth becoming a subscriber for those alone! Oh but don’t think I’m letting Streaming Services off the hook either because they aren’t perfect either. For some services, Netflix in particular, they can actually remove certain movies or shows from there site. And I REALLY don’t get why. Like, it is a legal issue or something? Did there licence for those movies or shows run out? They will give you a warning most of the time when something from your watchlist is about to be taken off but I still wish this wasn’t the case. Oh, and there’s also the fact that you have to constantly be connected to the internet at all times while watching so sorry if yours goes out for whatever reason. Thankfully those services let you download certain movies and shows… on the mobile apps only. Seriously, why it that limited to only the mobile apps and not something I can do on my PS5?

But honestly, given the option I’d rather take watching movies at home though either of these methods than run the risk of having another awful experience at the cinema. So yeah, that’s pretty much why I haven’t had any motivation to actually go to the cinema lately. It has nothing to do with me wanting to do anything stupid like boycotting a movie I have no real interest in seeing anyway (I seriously can not express how stupid I think the concept of boycotting is to begin with) or me being some wired edge lord who thinks he’s cool because he’s a rebel who doesn’t do what everyone else is doing or anything like that. In fact, I think people should still go to the cinema if they want to so that they can support a movie they are interested in. As for me, I think I’m fine with supporting that movie a few months later when it comes out on physical media or streaming.

There, I ended this with a positive conclusion. Now no one who’s new to this page will ever accuse me of having a controversial take!

Genie Bellmo: This coming from the same guy who un-ironically likes Heavy Rain and Detroit Become Human?

……… Shut up!